Assalamualaikum and good evening,

It has been a while (i mean really long time) since my last post. So, first of all, I would like to wish Salam Ramadan Mubarak to all my fellow blogger-friends. Hope that this ramadan will the much greater than before.

Today, my end semester exam results was released and Alhamdulillah thanked God, I achieved what I deserved, and this time, I improved a lot than before. But still, my target was still above my results. I am not disappointed (really) because from my opinion, the exams were quite difficult, and yes, after i finished my examinations, I didn't even target anything, just praying to God that I will passes all papers. And, I passed all...with NO C, not even B- and below.

But still, my parents are disappointed at me because I didn't score as high as my cousin did. My father did congratulate me, and also my mom. But she keep comparing me which I, myself don't like me. Not even everyone on the earth like the fact that they are being compared with others that are superior than them.

 For God's sake, I really hope that my cousin didn't apply the same course like me because she had never shown any interest towards my course. But yeah, things already happened. I was quite excited before knowing the fact that my cousin is in the same course as me. Actually, we were being compared ever since school days, from primary school till high school. She was studying at SBP, and I was in MRSM, so parents keep asking our pointers and compared to each other. But I thought it will stop there.....

And now, when we balik kampung, and moms will be gossiping and eventually our academic performances will be included in the topic. Mak siapa oi tak bangga anak perform! But yeah, idk man... i feel really pressure knowing the fact that i am being compared with someone superior... my cousin is very studious. She struggled really hard so nothing will become impossible to her. But I, not a kind of person that will commit 100% in my studies.

I can't study 24/7 like seriously. I have my own ways of keeping in track with my studies. I was focused in class, asking teachers and friends about what I don't know, I read textbooks but still I can't score more than her. I wasn't even care if I didn't score beyond her's and always expressed my gratitude in my own ways. But yeah, when mom keep telling me to study harder like I wasn't study that hard..... I feel upset and sad. Cus she'd never paksa-paksa me to study before, she wasn't a kind of mom that will ask me to study every single time I called her.

Bcs of this comparing shits, I wish that I was not in the same course with any of my relatives... Okay that's all from me... gotta go bye!